MARRIAGE (2)

There are some things to notice about the creation of man and woman. First, the order in which they were created. Man was created first and woman was made from man. Secondly, man was instructed by God about what was permissible in this new world and also how to organise it. This shows up in the instructions about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and again in the instruction about classifying the animals. These occurred before woman was created. Adam was given some leadership responsibility. He had to be a leader in passing on to the woman what God had previously taught him. After they sinned it became evident that this was his responsibility because God held Adam accountable first, for what Eve had done in eating from the forbidden area of the garden.

God’s intention is that a husband must take responsibility for sharing with his wife what God has taught him. Of course, it is a two way street and husbands need help and advice from their wives, too. But God has made the husband responsible for making sure that they are both true to God’s teaching and true to the work he gives them to do in life. Plainly, everyone is responsible to God for their individual actions and a wife can’t be blamed for a husband’s short temper; however, in a marriage and a family, the husband must understand that the buck stops with him when it comes to ensuring that God’s Word is being brought into home and that his wife and later on their children are living under its life-giving blessing.

It wasn’t until some time after Adam was created he learned that he needed companionship, marriage and sex in order to be personally fulfilled and carry out his task of peopling and organising the world. He learned that he needed companionship that other things, even animals, could not satisfy. He learned that alone he was not complete; that he needed a human helper to support him and be supported by him – mutual dependence. This helper needed to be like him, but not a mere clone; someone distinctly different, and yet a person with whom he could empathise. God already had this worked out and Adam was deeply satisfied when God showed him his solution.

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”

God provided the companion that the first man needed, creating her from a piece of his bone. Adam was deeply attracted to her. He loved her as he loved himself (v23). The first two people were a man and a woman and God put them together. They were naked together but not at all ashamed. (That sense of shame only came with sin.)

Moses, adds the commentary:

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

This first marriage was a model for all the subsequent marriages of men and women. Moses says that children will grow to adulthood and then leave their parents for marriage. A new family will begin. A person must have reached the age and maturity to manage their own affairs. At marriage, parents are left behind which means that the person entering marriage is equipped to begin a new family. This doesn’t suggest parents are left out or their advice is ignored – but it does mean that the married couple are capable of providing for themselves and managing their own lives. Of course, parents will help practically and with advice in raising children – but that does not mean that the new husband and wife should rely on them to raise those children.The new husband is called to lead the new family – first a family of two (husband and wife) and later their children. He is not designed to be a boss. He needs help from his wife.